


Naruto's Journal (It's more of a diary get real.)

by jessikajesse1



Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Help Sakura, M/M, Oblivious!Naruto, Shy!Sasuke, sasuke gay af tbh yooo, teen for swearing, this is of course canon, young Naruto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 16:59:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8454490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessikajesse1/pseuds/jessikajesse1
Summary: Naruto writes a journal, of course this being the cue for crack.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I was sort of thinking to continue this, for some godawful reason. *Chortles*  
> So let me know what you think, because unlike my other fic, this is not serious at all.

Thursday. 23/ March 

Wow, Today Sasuke was acting like the usual Teme.  
Sakura was looking especially pretty today, and I always love her soft looking skin and pretty hair  
But Sasuke kept talking to her.  
Like he knew her, Dattebayo!  
I like her all these days and then he comes in and crashes my party.  
Hmph

Saturday. 25/March

We finally got back from the most UNCOOL mission.  
Finding another damn cat.  
But this time, the cat was a ninja!!! That made things 100% WORSE!!!  
Aaaahghh.  
And of course Sasuke stole my shine again.  
The cat was about to attack Sakura and, if luck would have it, he grabbed the cat in midair.  
Sakura hugged HIM and shit!!  
WHATEVER I WAS ABOUT TO DO THE SAME THING.  
Soon Sasuke will not be above me any longer.  
He will cower at my awesomeness!!! 

Tuesday. 28/MARCH IS ALMOST OVER

I AM SO GLAD THAT SUMMER IS ALMOST HERE!! BELIEVE IT!  
Bushy brows and I will be able to spot Sakura in her new swimsuit!!  
Yup! Hinata was acting weird again today though.  
She was following me around when I was walking to Ichiraku's.  
I wonder what's her deal?

Thursday!! 01/ April. 

Spring is officially here.  
YAHOO!!  
Sasuke was being a stick in the mud.  
Sakura and I were fooling around (Climbing trees and playing chicken while hanging upside down. It's fun try it.)  
And suddenly he pushed me and Sakura off the tree!!  
We could have broken our necks!!  
But all he said was  
"Stop fucking around you clowns. We are supposed to be mastering this justu, not risking your lives. Hn."  
Risking our lives??? WHO was the one pushing people off of trees?? Damn squirrel boy.

Friday. 02/April

Sasuke came to my house today.  
It seemed urgent. But he didn't tell me what it was!  
He just came in my house, sat down and ate ramen with me, then left.  
...  
What does that mean???  
Sasuke is a wild card.  
That's what it means.

Saturday. 03/April

Grr, Sasuke was being an asshole today. He's usually an asshole but, TODAY he was being 3x the asshole. 

Sakura-Chan and I were by the river. We were fishing (I fought a fish! Sakura corrected me and said CAUGHT but, it was more like fighting! It was huge!!)  
And we were both actually having fun with each other for once!

Then Grumpy Sasuke came. 

He ruined the party!!  
He grabbed Sakura's pole and shoved her aside! Like some irrelevant thing!  
Then challenged me like he didn't do anything to Sakura-Chan! He said,  
"Humph. I bet you didn't catch anything. I could catch a king salmon like nothing."  
Well,  
I couldn't refuse.  
A challenge is a challenge!  
DATTEBAY!

Saturday, 03... Afternoon.

Ok, so Sasuke won at fishing.  
So what?  
It's nothing special. Catching 20 fish in one day! So what??  
It's a lazy thing. Made especially for Shikamaru. He could spend the whole day here just fishing, and looking at those boring ass clouds; in the sky. 

Humph.  
He told Sakura, (she giggled)  
He told Kakashi (He chuckled)  
He told Pervy sage (he of course bust a gut)  
And he also told,  
Let's see,  
THE WHOLE DAMN VILLAGE.  
WHAT IS WITH HIM??  
He wins one contest and all of a sudden, he is the best human being to ever exist on this planet. Pft.  
Though he did tell them that I caught a 160 pound king salmon.  
Hah! Glad that TEME said something nice about me for once.

Sunday. 04/April

Hey did I ever tell you how much I love Sakura Chan??  
She is so pretty. And I like her forehead, it's so broad it makes me want to smooch it!  
And she's pretty tough for a girl!  
I bet when she gets older she'll have the strength of a rhino.  
Damn! I better watch out then.

Tuesday.06/April

Sasuke sucks!!!  
He is the worst!! The worst the worst the WORST!  
Again! Sakura and I were looking at frogs, and Sasuke interrupted us.  
He pushed Sakura away and came to look at the frogs that I picked up.  
But he asked about them to me.  
Hah!  
That dummy doesn't study frogs??  
FROGS ARE THE BEST.  
That Teme doesn't know what he's missing.  
Anyways, Sakura pouted and started sulking over in the trees.  
I went to comfort her but she just yelled at me! Humph. It's all Sasuke's fault.  
But when I looked at him he seemed a little off.  
So I went and joined him again.  
That idiots sulking too! I guess he just needs my knowledge to guide him through the study of frogs. 

Wednesday.07/April

Sasuke came over to my house. The second time this month! (I think..)  
And came to see my frogs.  
The big chief toad's son was there.  
It was so hilarious!!  
Sasuke just stood there while the little frog talked smack about him!!  
I doubled over laughing!  
Sasuke pushed me down to the floor and poked my nose. I think it was SUPPOSED to be menacing or a threat but, I doubt it.  
He just laughed at whatever my face did.  
The little Frog laughed at me and Sasuke. Damn that frog.  
Making Sasuke and I look like idiots!  
Well I don't care about Sasuke but, Hey! I'm not an idiot!

Thursday.08/April

Hinata was following me again.  
But this time she was walking right behind me.  
She is kind of creeping me out, but.  
I guess that's because she's a bit shy! If she wanted to be friends, why doesn't she just say so!? Dattebayo!

Saturday.11/April

...  
I don't even want to write about it. 

 

Sunday.12/April

Ok, here's what happened yesterday.  
Sasuke and I were competing over who can climb the most trees.  
We were halfway into the game until...  
SASUKE COMES OUT OF NOWHERE AND KISSES ME.  
Aiyaaaaa!!!  
WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL.  
THE NEXT TIME I SEE THAT BASTARD HE IS A DEAD UCHIHA. 

Monday.13/April

It was a shocker.  
Sasuke actually apologized to me.  
He said he didn't MEAN it.  
Thank god. I was afraid there for a second. 

 

Tuesday.14/April

I had a bath today!  
I used my favourite Quakula ducky!  
It's a vampire rubber duck,  
It looks so cute!  
Anyways, while I was bathing I realized that someone snuck in my house.  
I heard footsteps and rummaging.  
Once I had a towel on I BAM opened the door in a heroic entrance!  
Turns out it was just bushy brows.  
He said that he needed one of my empty ramen cups for some exercise Gai Sensei was getting him to do.  
Ha!  
The one day I cleaned my house!  
There is no empty ramen cups lurking around here!  
Lee walked away sad.  
Poor bushy brows. 

Thursday.16/April

Sakura-Chan and I were brawling today!  
I was right about her having the strength of a rhino...

Friday.17/April

Sakura and I are going to the amusement park today!! Oh, sensei and Sasuke are coming also.  
We are going to ride the Water logs,  
The Ninja Diver, The Konaha Leaf twirl, the Uchiha uzumaki (the hell kind of ride is that? It spins like a spiral though) the Konaha Death Drop, And Lots more!! This is going to be so fun!!!

Friday.17/April

Kakashi-Sensei is a jerk.  
Sakura-Chan and I were sharing a Cotton Candy together (Orange and pink mixed) when all of a sudden Sasuke comes along. It was so awkward. All three of us shared that cotton candy.  
Except Kakashi sensei ran away with it and ate it.  
That asshole.  
Sasuke bought another, this time it was orange and blue.  
We both shared it because Sakura-Chan didn't want anymore.  
Sasuke can be a nice guy sometimes.  
The last ride we went on was the Ferris wheel.  
Sakura-Chan ran over with Kakashi-Sensei and hopped on.  
WHY WOULD SHE LEAVE ME??  
FOR OUR OWN SENSEI??  
Sasuke and I had to pair up together.  
He didn't seem so annoyed at this though, because when we got in there, he decided to sit close to me!  
He's finally warming up to me and acknowledging me as an equal!

Monday.20/April

It's almost the end of the month!  
Finally. Spring JUST arrived too.  
Flowers were starting to poke out!  
I planted some leeks outside on my veranda, Kakashi did want me to eat more veggies.  
Misewell grow them myself.  
Sasuke came over to look at them today. He said that I ACTUALLY DID A DECENT JOB. Sometimes the things that come out of Sasuke's mouth surprise me.

Tuesday.21/April

Hinata finally said hello!  
I was walking to get my daily ramen when, she tapped my shoulder.  
The sudden contact scared me, but she finally came and said hello!  
I realized at that moment that she CAN speak.  
I said hello to her too.  
But she ran away again.  
I watched her as she sprinted across the street, she tripped half-stride.  
She was ok though. That girl is a little bit awkward. 

Sunday.25/April

Gah. We just came back from another mission.  
Sakura-Chan and Sasuke-Teme were all lovey dovey with each other that trip. We were trapped in the land of snow. Kakashi had to go and find help. Sasuke and Sakura had to cuddle under a fuzzy blanket.  
I was left alone by the fireplace.  
Sasuke grabbed another blanket and wrapped it over me though.  
It was a blue blanket that he said he brought with him.  
I needed it! I was shivering!!  
Sasuke was nice and decided to try to help me warm up.  
So we just huddled under the blanket. I invited Sakura and she accepted. So it was team 7. Bonding again.  
Kakashi came after 20 minutes, we all yelled at him, he took 2 hours just to make the 30 minute walk to the village!  
STUPID KAKASHI SENSEI!  
I JUST KNOW HE WAS LOOKING AT THAT PORN SHOP THAT WE PASSED WHILE GETTING HERE!

Monday.26/April

We seen another glance at what Kakashi reads in that pervert book.  
I'm scarred.  
But at least I have some material for my Sexy jutsu...

Tuesday.27/April

Sasuke is a jerk.  
Sasuke is a muck.  
Sasuke reeks.  
Sasuke is a dumb fuck.  
Rhyming. I, Uzumaki Naruto can do it.  
He tried to kiss Sakura-Chan today.  
His face got REAAAAALLY close.  
So I protected her from those stupid Uchiha lips of his from her.  
By sacrificing my own.  
Hah!  
Sasuke was blushing up to his ears!  
I even stuck my tongue in for extra grossness level!  
I FINALLY EMBARRASSED HIM!!  
HE WAS SO EMBARRASSED THAT HE HAD TO RUN TO THE BATHROOM FOR SOMETHING! MUST HAVE CRIED!!HAHA DATTEBAYO!!!  
Sakura kicked my ass though. 

Thursday.28/April

I have no idea about that Sasuke now. He's avoiding me.  
I have no idea what I did!!  
HES AN ASSHOLE.  
I'll challenge him today. He'll never see it coming. 

Friday.29/April

We had to take care of the Konaha seniors today!  
It was ok because Granny-Tsunade  
Was there with us! She was so angry at me though.  
When I was taking care of an old veteran of Konaha,(he fought the nine tails when he was 50)  
He suddenly started insulting me.  
He compared me to the fox, it made me feel like nothing.  
He told me that I'm a monster then started screaming for the nurses.  
I left him alone while he was freaking out.  
Tsunade said that no matter what the patient was saying you NEVER leave them alone.  
She slapped me. I feel like shit. 

Saturday.30/April

HELL YEAH!  
THE LAST DAY OF THE MONTH!!!  
I shall celebrate with some ramen.  
I'll treat Sakura-Chan!!  
And maybe Sasuke too, hmmph.  
Dattebayo.

**Author's Note:**

> So that was a ride I will forever regret. Wattpad was a deep and dark place.  
> btw...  
> How was it? Sorry I can't update.  
> I don't have internet ANYWHERE.  
> No internet at home, (parents cut me off)  
> No internet at my friends (she cut me off)  
> No internet at school (they cut me off)  
> So.  
> Basically screwed.  
> But if you like it, tell me! Feedback is nice. And criticism too.


End file.
